Eh?
by narcoleptic shishkabob
Summary: (Completed!)EH?! What's goin on?! Kagome's been kidnapped? By who? Jaken and Rin are gone, too?! What's Inuyasha gonna do? Team up w/ Fluffy to save them, of course! ^.^ OOCness and weirdness abound! Review kindly, por favor!
1. So it starts,

Eh?!  
  
^That's the name, by the way.  
  
~~~  
  
Disclaimer: Seriously, if I was anyone of any importance, would I be eating nothing but caffeine and sugar and be addicted to my computer? No. If I was of any importance (aka worth suing) I would be eating.... nothing.. and be addicted to various hallucinogenic drugs. So there. Apparently, I own nothing, much less the characters or the series Inuyasha, and--*falls asleep* I can't spell worth crap (especially in Japanese) Begin the FIC!  
  
~~~  
  
"Where is that stupid girl?!" Inuyasha fumed, pacing back and forth, beginning to hint the color of his clothing. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Sesshoumaru appeared.  
  
"Aye, Sesshoumaru-sama, where's that annoying little wench?"  
  
"I don't know, Jaken. Shut up." Sesshoumaru stated boredly, flexing his claws in monotone anticipation.  
  
"O-of course, Sesshoumaru-sama." Jaken stuttered out, shuffling into Out-of- Scene Land so as not to disturb the battle scene.  
  
"Heh. Looks like it's just you and-" Inuyasha started, but was cut off suddenly.  
  
"Inuyasha!" Miroku called from down the hill, with Sango in tow. The two brothers waited patiently for them to reach the top. "Inuyasha.why.didn't you tell us.you were fighting him.today.?" Miroku panted out, leaning on his knees for support. Inuyasha snorted disgustedly.  
  
"I didn't want to interrupt you. You seemed to be a having a damned good time." Sesshoumaru wrinkled his nose at the thought of.well, we all know what he was thinking.  
  
"H-how? What?" Sango blushed furiously; Miroku's cue to take over the explanation.  
  
"No need to get defensive. Just cause you and Kagome-sama never-"  
  
"Shut the hell up."  
  
"Ok." Miroku backed off, preparing his kazaana. Sesshoumaru smirked slightly at the thought of the Saimyoushou poisoning the monk.  
  
"Jaken." He said simply, expecting his servant to come running at his beck and call. "Jaken?" He turned, almost fearfully, to find a note in the dirt of the battlefield. "Bwahaha.I have your toad and little girl captive.bwahahaha." Sesshoumaru read aloud in monotone.  
  
"What the hell?!" Inuyasha yelled as a pencil flew at his head, missing by mere millimeters. Sango caught it and pulled the note off.  
  
"Bwahaha.I have your little friends captive.bwahahaha." She read aloud, struggling over the word "captive" since it had smudged somehow. "What are we going to do?" She asked desperately. "They have Kagome-chan!"  
  
"Pay no heed to the note, Sango. It is a trap to get us to venture into Out- of-Scene Land." Miroku spoke up, taking Sango's hands in his own. "If we attempt to go there, the two lands will merge and be destroyed."  
  
"Ke.You're full of shit." Inuyasha scoffed. "I'm gonna go. Who's with me?" Much to Inuyasha's surprise, the first person to step forward was none other than.Sesshoumaru. At the disbelieving stares the dignified youkai growled out,  
  
"What? I've gotta have those damned Saimyoushou." Miroku glared death at Sesshoumaru, who returned the look with equal hatred.  
  
"C'mon guys! We need to work together. If just this once." Sango demanded, putting herself between the two. When they didn't budge she added, "Besides, no one will know what happens unless some disgruntled fanfic writer decides to document it." Relieved, the two backed off and began their journey into Out-of-Scene Land. The others followed, of course.  
  
~Meanwhile, in Out-of-Scene Land~  
  
"It's not fair! You can't do this to us!" Kagome screamed, struggling with her bondage. A cape-cladden figure hung in the shadows, chuckling softly.  
  
"Who says I can't? This isn't In-Scene Land. I can do whatever I want."  
  
"But we love each other! Doesn't that mean anything to you?" Kagome began to sob, but was quickly silenced by what was said next.  
  
"You're not supposed to love HIM! NOT HIM!" The hooded creature screamed in rage.  
  
"Then who am I supposed to love, hm?" Kagome demanded, finally making progress with the ropes holding her wrists together.  
  
~Meanwhile, in Kinda-in-Scene Land~  
  
"Where are we? It's so dreamlike." Sango wondered.  
  
"Aren't we technically in In-Scene Land?" Inuyasha grumbled.  
  
"Of course not. You have to decide to be in In-Scene Land to be in it."  
  
"You're a fuckin idiot."  
  
"What did you say, HANYOU?!"  
  
"I dunno, FLUFFY!"  
  
"THAT'S IT!"  
  
As the brothers squared off for battle, Sango and Miroku discussed more important matters.  
  
"Are they supposed to be acting like this?" Sango whispered, eyeing Inuyasha warily.  
  
"No." Miroku whispered back, shrugging. "Maybe it's the altitude." Sango nodded, satisfied with that answer.  
  
"What do we do? We can't let them fight." Sango whispered, raising her voice slightly. Miroku grinned madly as the perfect solution drilled its way through his skull. He grabbed Sango's face and gave her a good, long lasting tongue kiss.  
  
"Oh, that's fuckin disgusting." Inuyasha commented, turning away from Sesshoumaru towards the couple.  
  
"Humans.filthy creatures." Sesshoumaru agreed, also turning away from the impending battle.  
  
"I've lost my will to fight." Inuyasha groaned.  
  
"So have I." Sesshoumaru grimaced, both inwardly and out. Miroku and Sango took their fine time separating.  
  
"Can we move on now?" Inuyasha whined pathetically. "I need to find Kagome and get this stupid side plot over with."  
  
"Soon enough, I hope." Sesshoumaru chimed in from the back of the group. "I need something to pulverize."  
  
~Meanwhile, in Out-of-Scene Land~  
  
Kagome watched patiently as their captor drifted off to sleep. After she heard the soft snoring and random twitch of an arm (yes, it was audible), she slipped her hands from the rope and untied her feet. Kirara mewed pitifully from the little metal cage she had been locked in. Kagome quickly let the little cat demon free. Kirara mewed again, then bounded from the quaint little cottage. After that, Kagome set everyone else free. Shippou, Kouga, and Jaken had been under anti-youkai spells, which had weakened them significantly.  
  
"Oh! My back!" Jaken whined, popping his neck dramatically. Luckily, their captor was a very sound sleeper, for they did not awaken. Kouga quickly grabbed ahold of Kagome's hands.  
  
"Ah, my dear Kagome. I'm so glad that you're alright." He sniffed the air incredulously. "Shit. I smell dog-turd. I'll be back for you!" With that, he sped off to who knows where to find Inuyasha and fight him for Kagome...again...  
  
Shippou curled up and went to sleep.  
  
~Meanwhile, in Kinda-in-Scene Land~  
  
"That's the barrier." Miroku waved his staff in the direction of a huge, blotchy area ahead.  
  
"Bout time." both Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru mumbled in unison, realizing their mistake too late.  
  
"You know.maybe you two should consider-" Sango started, but was cut off with a unanimous "NO!" From both parties. She instinctively looked to Miroku, who merely shrugged his shoulders. And the group trudged on.  
  
  
  
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Wahahaha! It's to be continued! If it's crappy then I just won't update and ya'll will never know what happens next. Who does Kagome love? Who is she supposed to love? Who is her captor? Will Kouga find Inuyasha-tachi? Will Fluffy and Inu-kun make up and be good brothers? Where the heck is Myouga? Where'd the kidnapper find a cottage? What about Rin? Too many questions..too little time (and brain juices)! ^_^  
  
Review kindly, por favor! 


	2. And continues...

Dedications for this chapter: Koneko-chan, PapperKatzie, Anata, Julia- Tears, Mina-Star, maggie, and nancy! Yay! Seven reviews for one chapter, I'm so excited.Thanks for the encouraging reviews, you all shall see how evil I truly am in this next chapter! BWAHAHAHAHA-erm.Thanks again!  
  
Eh?  
  
^That's the name, by the way ^-^  
  
~~~  
  
Disclaimer: Haven't we already been through this? Once again, I don't own the characters, and I can't spell, and--*falls asleep*  
  
~~~  
  
~In Kinda-in-Scene Land~  
  
"I can't believe you called me Fluffy." Sesshoumaru whined to Inuyasha for about the fifth time. Sango shot Miroku a quizzical look.  
  
"Altitude again." The monk explained reasonably, earning a nod from Sango.  
  
"No one's called me Fluffy since-"  
  
"Oh! So you've been called that before!" Inuyasha crowed, interrupting Fluff-I mean, Sesshoumaru, mid-sentence.  
  
"Who called you that?" Inuyasha asked prodingly.  
  
"No one." Sesshoumaru brushed the question off with a 'holier than thou' look.  
  
"C'mon, tell me!"  
  
"No."  
  
"Tell me, damn it!"  
  
"No, damn it."  
  
"Pleeeeaaaseeee?" Inuyasha batted his.erm.lashes at Sesshoumaru as if that would get him to talk.  
  
"Ok, ok." The once-dignified youkai giggled out.  
  
Sango and Miroku edged away from the two discreetly so as not to frighten them.  
  
"This is getting too weird.This must be more than just altitude." Miroku shook his head vigorously.  
  
"I promise, it's the altitude." Sango shrugged.  
  
"Whatever."  
  
~Meanwhile, in Kinda-in-Scene Land~  
  
Kouga ran as fast as his little shard-enhanced legs could carry him. He could still smell Inuyasha, and the smell was getting stronger with each passing second.  
  
~Meanwhile, in Kinda-in-Scene Land~  
  
"You mean my mother called you Fluffy?" Inuyasha asked disbelievingly. Sesshoumaru nodded his head solemnly in response.  
  
"And you wonder why I hate humans." Miroku and Sango cringed notably at the possible angsty moment, but didn't dare interrupt.  
  
"Damn fanfic etiquette." They cursed in unison, just as Kouga showed up.  
  
~Meanwhile, in Out-of-Scene Land~  
  
Kagome gently placed the slumbering kitsune in a conveniently placed basket and stole out to get some fresh air.  
  
"Rin loves Sesshoumaru-sama!" Came a call from far away. Kagome shrugged and turned to reenter the cabin. There, before her, stood her one true love.  
  
~Meanwhile, in Kinda-in-Scene Land~  
  
"Wimpy wolf?! What the hell're you doin here?!" Inuyasha demanded, taking a battle stance.  
  
"Thank God for lousy etiquette." Miroku spoke up. Sango nodded in agreement.  
  
"Did you think you could get away from me, dog-turd?!" Kouga hollered.  
  
"He's standing four feet from you, you idiot." Sesshoumaru snorted at Kouga, who ignored the comment as only he could.  
  
"I know where Kagome is. If I win I get her, if you win, I'll take you to her." Kouga stated calmly.  
  
"Then what the fucking hell are we waiting for?!" Inuyasha yelled, and lunged at Kouga, drawing Tetsusaiga. Kouga expertly dodged, but was distracted when a small pebble hit his eye.  
  
"STOP FIGHTING!" Cried a small voice. Kouga quickly picked the tiny girl from the bushes and held her nose to nose with him.  
  
"Who the hell are you?" He asked. Sesshoumaru smirked at the ignorant wolf's mistake. The little girl brightened.  
  
"My name's Rin. What's yours? I like flowers, do you? I like Sesshoumaru-sama! Do you like Sesshoumaru-sama--?"  
  
"Behold, my secret weapon." Inuyasha gestured toward Rin, resting Tetsusaiga on his shoulder nonchalantly.  
  
"I like Jaken-sama, do you like Jaken-sama? I like bunnies, too. Do you?" Kouga abruptly sat on the packed dirt, dropping Rin in the process.  
  
"RIN LOVES SESSHOUMARU-SAMA!!!!" Rin suddenly shrieked in Kouga's ear and ran to her beloved Sesshoumaru-sama, who told her to shut up. Kouga slowly stood and turned.  
  
"This way." He stated quietly, his face sporting a dejected-beyond- repair look.  
  
~Meanwhile, in Out-of-Scene Land~  
  
Kagome's heart leapt wildly in her chest as the tall, handsome man gently tipped her chin upward for a soft, sweet kiss..Awwww..  
  
~Meanwhile, at the Great Barrier~  
  
"It's beautiful." Sango whispered, staring at the melding colors of the translucent border between Kinda-in-Scene Land and Out-of-Scene Land. Miroku took his opportunity to rub her ass. Sango suddenly pummeled him over the head with Hiraikotsu. When she saw what she had done, she gasped. "I'm sorry, it was visceral." She tried to explain to an unconscious Miroku. She looked around, suddenly realizing she was alone. The only thing nearby happened to be a medicine stand where they sold altitude sickness pills.  
  
~Meanwhile, in Out-of-Scene Land~  
  
"Where's the cabin?" Inuyasha demanded threateningly. Kouga sniffed the air.  
  
"This way." Kouga ran to the left, making sure that Inuyasha could keep up. He knew Sesshoumaru could.  
  
"Kouga?" Inuyasha asked, causing the wolf youkai to stop and turn.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I just wanted you to know."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"STOP RIGHT THERE!!" A sudden screech halted their conversation. The three turned to see Sango, standing beside Kirara, with a pill container in her hand.  
  
"How'd Kirara get into this?" Inuyasha wondered. Sango shrugged.  
  
"I dunno. She appeared after I bought..THESE!" She held up the pills threateningly, just as elevator music began in the background. Instinctively, they all looked up. Suddenly, Miroku spoke.  
  
"It plays whenever something significant happens in In-Scene Land." He explained as if it was a fact he'd known since he was two.  
  
"What kind of significant something?" Sesshoumaru asked. He'd been in Out-of-Scene Land before, but never could figure out that annoying music. Much to his surprise, Rin remained quiet, fiddling with her kimono.  
  
"Oh, you know.Naraku ravaging the countryside, destroying random extras, collecting more shikon shards, creating more minions." Miroku ticked off the possibilities.  
  
"Well, if that's all." Inuyasha stood pensively for a moment before taking hold of Kouga's ponytail. "Where the hell is she, wimpy wolf?!" Kouga growled before pointing to the right.  
  
"You should be able to smell her, dog-turd."  
  
"Shuddup."  
  
~Meanwhile, in Out-of-Scene Land~  
  
Kagome sat, cradled in the arms of the one man who'd loved her. She sighed contentedly before closing her eyes. Out of nowhere, Shippou streaked past, wailing.  
  
"He hit me! He hit me!" A cloaked figure sailed by, also shouting.  
  
"Come HERE! I didn't give you permission to take that!"  
  
As long as no one noticed, Kagome would sit with her lover. As long as no one noticed..  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
So? Who is it? Who does Kagome love? It sure ain't any of our usual suspects.or is it? Take your guess, even tell me in a review if you like, but I won't tell you if you're right or not until the next chapter! Review kindly, por favor! ^-^ 


	3. And continues...then ends

Yay! I'm writing another chapter! It's about time, but I kinda ran out of food, and thus...inspiration! Man, I hate this thing that ffnet does now with the triple dots. It makes em all one dot. Kinda messes up the effect of "..." Oh well, we'll live, ne? Oh, and PepperKatze, my evil partly German brain has been telling me to spell your name "PapperKatze" in case ya haven't noticed..sorry bout that, I'll try to get it right.  
  
Alright! Dedications for this chapter are:  
  
Rusco: I agree. Fluffy is way too harsh...  
  
Naatz(times 2!): Thank you for reviewing so wonderfully! I look forward to my next task!  
  
Julia-Tears: Yay! You're my best reviewer since Lin_Ysh! I will edit chapter 5 of BtoA...tomorrow during my Webpage design class. Dunno why I'm taking it...I already know everything we're gonna learn in there...  
  
Sakayume: Hahahahahaha! Your review cracked me up! The big twitchy smile was priceless! Bwahahahaha! Ok, here's another chapter!  
  
Madness: I'm glad ya like it cause it's so fun to write, dangit! *ahem...* Thank you for reviewing!  
  
  
  
Ok, there are the credits! ^ Enjoy the fic. I'm hoping to finish it in this chapter, cause I've got another idea in this "brain" of mine that won't leave me alone! *swats at idea* Away, away! Hmm.  
  
  
  
Eh?  
  
^That's the nombre, by the way ^-^  
  
~~~  
  
Disclaimer: Alright, alright...sheesh... I don't own the freakin characters...If I did, would I be writing about all this? No...They'd be trying to escape my evil clutches, not my evil fanfiction! ^-^  
  
~~~  
  
~In Out-of-Scene Land~  
  
"You all have to take these pills!" Sango ordered, giving each man an altitude sickness pill.  
  
"Why?" Inuyasha and Kouga asked simultaneously. "Jinx!" They shouted in unison, giggling when they realized that's what they'd done.  
  
"THAT'S why..." Sango said. Miroku nodded and took his, as did Sango. She doubted she needed one, but it was only fair. Sesshoumaru shrugged and took his, and Inuyasha and Kouga followed suit.  
  
"What the hell?! It tastes like dirty socks!" Inuyasha complained loudly, grimacing.  
  
"You've eaten dirty socks before?" Miroku asked, appalled. Sango touched her chest as a warm, fuzzy feeling spread throughout her.  
  
"What's going on?" She quickly scanned the container for side effects. "Oh...shit." She cursed as she toppled over due to the added weight of growing cleavage.  
  
"What the hell?!" Inuyasha screamed, looking at Miroku's erm...chest. Miroku looked down, and a grin spread across his face so wide it would have split it, but didn't.  
  
"Ah, now I know what a woman feels like."  
  
"You have no idea." Sango informed him, still trying to rise from the ground.  
  
"Oh, I think I do, dear Sango, for these--" Miroku grabbed his breasts...too hard and let out a cry of pain.  
  
"NOW you know what a woman feels like." Sango corrected him, finally standing. Inuyasha suddenly burst out laughing, pointing hysterically at Kouga, who also had a very full...chest.  
  
"Bwahahahahaha! You always had...the legs...bwahahahaha!" Inuyaha choked out between bouts of laughter. Kouga's face took on a lovely shade of pink.  
  
"Well, you have em, too, dog-turd." He pointed out, trying to cross his arms over his chest. Inuyasha looked down, and fainted.  
  
~Meanwhile, in Out-of-Scene Land~  
  
"Did you hear something?" Kagome asked, furrowing her brows.  
  
"No." the man answered. The hooded creature suddenly appeared.  
  
"What the hell?! You're not supposed to be together!" He then grabbed Kagome's wrist and attempted to pull her away from her man.  
  
"Why can't you let us stay together?" Kagome asked, struggling against the hooded creature's strength.  
  
"It's just...wrong!" He answered, pulling harder. Kagome suddenly slipped from his grasp, causing him to fall backwards onto the ground. The hood slipped to reveal...  
  
"Hojou?" Kagome asked, utterly shocked. "How did you get here?"  
  
"You fool! I practically LIVE in Out-of-Scene Land!"  
  
"Hey! What's this?" They heard from inside the cabin.  
  
"NO!" Hojou screamed, "Leave my stuff alone!" He ran towards the cabin as fast as his legs could carry him. Kagome closed her eyes and leaned into her lover's chest.  
  
~Meanwhile, in Out-of-Scene Land~  
  
Sesshoumaru stalked in the direction of two familiar scents. He needed Jaken so he could kill that stupid Sango woman. "Why did I take the stupid pill?" he squeaked to himself. He hadn't grown breasts, but it had affected his voice disturbingly. "I will KILL her!" He all but yelled, sounding as if he'd just swallowed five liters of helium. "Is Sesshoumaru-sama ok?" Rin asked, concern shining in her large, innocent eyes. Sesshoumaru sighed. "I'm fine, Rin." He answered, and picked her up.  
  
~Meanwhile, in Out-of-Scene Land~  
  
"Sango, are you ok?" Miroku asked with concern as he practiced gently fondling his breasts.  
  
"Do I look ok to you?!" Sango demanded, once again toppling over due to the imbalance of weight distribution.  
  
"Maybe I--Kirara should carry you." Miroku offered, changing his sentence as he got the glare of death from Sango.  
  
"Ok." With great difficulty, Sango managed to climb onto Kirara's back.  
  
"Inuyasha? You coming?" She asked, trying to sit up straight, but to no avail.  
  
"HELL NO!" came the answer from a very pissed off, very embarrassed Inuyasha.  
  
"Come on, all this was your idea. You can't back out now!"  
  
"I can't let Kagome see me like this!"  
  
"The effects are supposedly temporary." Miroku informed Inuyasha. "They should go away in about a day or two.  
  
"A DAY OR TWO?!" Both Inuyasha and Kouga roared.  
  
"Fine, I guess I'll go..." Inuyasha mumbled, and Kouga nodded his head in agreement.  
  
"Then let's go!" And they were off...  
  
~Meanwhile, in Out-of-Scene Land~  
  
Sesshoumaru scowled as the smell of the kidnapped members of both parties grew stronger. He was almost there.  
  
"Sesshoumaru-sama? Can I marry Shippou-chan?" Rin asked innocently.  
  
"No." Sesshoumaru squeaked coldly.  
  
"Ok." Rin agreed, saddened.  
  
~Meanwhile, in Out-of-Scene Land~  
  
"Their smell's getting stronger!" Inuyasha yelled.  
  
"Is that a--cabin?" Sango asked, her eyes sparkling. "I always wanted one of those..." The group neared the cabin, unawares that on the other side, Kagome and her lover sit, also unawares. They suddenly bumped into Sesshoumaru, who growled at them menacingly. Or, tried to growl menacingly, anyway. Inuyasha almost cracked up, but thanks to Miroku's hand over his mouth, he remained quiet.  
  
"Shh...Let's check the perimeter." Miroku suggested, leading the way around the outside edge of the cabin.  
  
~Meanwhile, in Out-of-Scene Land~  
  
"Are you sure you can't hear anything? I could swear I heard something..." Kagome said, standing and stretching. Her lover did the same.  
  
"I'm hungry. I wonder what they have to eat around here." He said as his stomach growled to punctuate his point.  
  
"Let's find something. I haven't eaten in a while." Kagome agreed, blushing as her stomach, also, growled. They began walking to the front of the cabin, hand in hand, but stopped dead in their tracks.  
  
"Sesshoumaru?"  
  
"Inuyasha?"  
  
"Kagome?"  
  
"Jaken?" Sesshoumaru blinked a few times. Did his eyes deceive him? "I thought I sealed that spell, dammit."  
  
"Well, you didn't seal it well." Jaken snorted, holding Kagome close. "Kagome broke it with ease."  
  
"THIS is Jaken?!" Inuyasha demanded, staring at the dark-haired man before him. "But he's so...pretty."  
  
"I could say the same for you." Kagome laughed, indicating Inuyasha's chest. The hanyou blushed, ducking behind Sesshoumaru, who was shaking with rage.  
  
"Well...I hope she's better than me!" Sesshoumaru squeaked out, running away as fast as he could, lest they see his tears of anger.  
  
Things were never the same again...  
  
  
  
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Well? I thought it was weird. Too much sugar for me o.o;;; Oh well, that's the end, if you don't like that ending, tell me and I may write an alternate ending or something if I feel like it, ok? Hope you enjoyed it, cause it was so much fun to write! If you have any questions, email me or review, and I'll be happy to answer. Yay! Until the next fic, ja ne! 


End file.
